Eh... (crunch, crunch, crunch) What's Up, Doc?

WARNING! WARNING! HEAVY SARCASM AHEAD! PROCEED WITH SENSE OF HUMOR! WARNING! WARNING!

So what is up with doctors not reading your chart? I mean, com'on! So I'm at the hospital last night because 6 days of influenza with no lift was frankly just dragging my ass down. So luckily for me the ERD wasn't that busy and I got to a bed within about 45 minutes (I've waited upwards of 3 hours before, so 45 minutes was fast!) and the intake lady was really nice, crackin' jokes and being very thorough with her questions as to what has been going on between me and this flu.

So then I get to the bed and she tells me to disrobe 'cause I'm gonna have to have a chest X-Ray (fine) and wait about a half-hour for the doctor to come in (fine, I'm in the ERD and not bleeding to death, it's understandable, even though my head feels like it's going to explode).

Once the doctor arrives, he begins with, "So, you have a bit of a runny nose, do you?"

...

Are you serious? Do you really get patients in here who come in with a bit of a runny nose. Do I look like the kind of person who comes into the emergency department with a bit of a fucking runny nose?!

...

"Among other things" I replied.

"Like what?"

"Oh well, spiking fevers, body aches, blasting headaches, hot flashes, cold chills, eye pain and eye sensitivity, nasty crackling coughs, chest pain, stuffy nose, waterfall nose, ear aches, weakness, fatigue, and generally feeling like I have the FLU."

"And that's just for today?" he asks.

...

Are you serious?? Now I'm getting pissed off!! NO IT'S NOT JUST FOR TODAY, ASS, I'VE BEEN FEELING LIKE THIS FOR 6 DAYS NOW AND I AM SO SICK AND TIRED OF BEING SICK AND TIRED THAT I COULD YANK YOU DOWN TO THE BEDSIDE BY YOUR SHOULDER-LENGTH HAIR AND BREATHE ALL OVER YOUR POINTY LONG FACE SO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS FEELS LIKE, "DOCTOR"!!! FEEL MY WRATH AND BURN IN THE FIREY PITS OF HELL!!! BWAHAHAHAHA!

...

"No, for 6 days, actually."

"Oh, okay. Well, we'll give you something for the body aches, something for the cough, and something for the stuffy nose. We're also going to take a chest X-Ray to make sure everything's OK in there."

That's more like it.

So chest X-Ray comes back, everything looks good. This is good.

Interim between discussing the X-Ray and him writing me the prescriptions, a baby comes in with a 104.4 F temp and is seizing. Nice. Nothing like a little trauma to liven the spirits, I always say!

Finally he comes in and tells me what he's going to prescribe. Ibuprofen, Claritin, and an inhaler.

...

Are you seri... oh never mind.

So I take the prescriptions and come back home, only to wake up today, day 7, still feeling mighty ill. I've taken the dosage of Ibuprofen he prescribed (I am not going to pay for a prescription of what I already have bottles of at home), take a Claritin (ditto), and put up with another 12 hours of coughing until I can get over to the pharmacy to get the inhaler (because I don't have one of those). He couldn't prescribe the Tami-Flu stuff because it's only effective during the first 48 hours of infection. And well, let's just say that I have a husband who was VERY reluctant to take me to the hospital because of his OWN damn complex about appearing "whiny". IT AIN'T MY DAMN COMPLEX, HONEY! I'LL WHINE - I'M THE ONE THAT'S SICK!!!

So there you have it. I had to miss every class last week because I could barely stand up and certainly didn't want to infect anyone, especially my teacher as he already has a weakened immune system. I also had to miss going to the Asian Art Museum in SF with him, too. I really can't miss any more class, but I'll tell you what, if I feel tomorrow like I do today, I ain't going. My temperature this morning was 99.8, still pretty high, considering, and just took it right now and it's 100.0. So we shall see. I would like to go and be able to clean my bloody house, but if I'm ill, I'm ill. And seeing as how I ain't Christian, or religious in any sense of the word, or even "spiritual", ain't no amount of prayer being said in my head, or in my house. I figure nature will take its course. Whether I like it or not.