Monday, March 2, 2009

Pleasant But Detached

That's how I feel lately. Especially in regards to how I relate to my sociology professor. I suppose this is because I feel intimidated by his vast expanse of knowledge - I just feel inferior, period. So I don't even try to relate in a meaningful way, even though I am a soc major and he will probably end up writing a very nice letter of recommendation for me in the near future.

I feel weird about this. I really want to be able to share my thoughts with him and relate when it's obvious that he wants to too. I have so many things to say about class, the subjects, questions about where to get more information, but all I manage to squeak out is a, "yes, thank you, OK, see you Thursday." This bothers me about me. I tend to revert to this sort of childish behavior when I feel I don't measure up. And the silly thing is that I know most people aren't even judging me, at least not as harshly as I judge myself. We are our own worst critics, right?

Oh, bah humbug. Maybe I'll try to break out of my shell a bit more tomorrow, even though I'll be handing in my rough draft of the first part of our thirty-page midterm for review. Yikes. Maybe tomorrow's not a good day to start...


Today was wonderful! We talked and talked about soc. and the state of the world/econ., etc. He gave me a lot of insider advice on the major and universities and what I need to do to step up my game in terms of an even better education and preparation for upper division work. I am so bloody jazzed! He's going to give me a reading list to supplement my education on things that I should know about soc. before I transfer in the fall. This is so good!

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