Longing

Have any of you experienced a great longing for something you knew you just couldn't and shouldn't have at that time in your life? Well, I, unfortunately, have this quite often - with many a different things. But the one which I am feeling today, and am for some reason brave enough to blog about, is about having children.

See, I am an evil stepmother - DUN DUN DUN. And while I could rail on about what a bloody difficult and thankless job that is, and believe me, it IS, I will only talk about the fact that sometimes, when I am feeling particularly mental, I wish to have my own children. Now, I am in no position to do this, not for a long while for so many, many reasons. But like I said, sometimes I just get bit with a bug that makes me long for my own chillins. I (of course) wonder what they would look like, think about what I would name them, wonder how much different life would be, etc. I also am of the mind that more people is not exactly a good thing for the planet and honestly, life is simply better without children. Damn biology!

It's actually a little frustrating at times because I start to ramble on in my head about, "Will I ever have a 'right time', will I know if it's the right time", yadda yadda yadda. While I wouldn't advocate having children while young, I also believe that everyone has different paths and desires and so the 'right time' for one may not be the same for another in similar circumstances.

It has gotten better over time, though. I used to spend time in the baby sections of stores, read baby product and information websites, read baby BOOKS, blogs, etc. and I think that that even helped me subside some of the more intense sessions. Luckily that has mainly passed. But every once in a while, when I am feeling particularly whimsical and out-of-touch with (my) reality, I get all goo-goo eyed and mushy about having a baby. Sigh. Some just never learn, do they?