#%$^*#$%@!

I am just green with envy. Green, I tell you!

*sigh*

So here's the deal. Years and years ago, when I was a child, specifically, I lived with family G* (not the real first letter of their last name). I was to the the eldest child in the G family, as their two eldest children were too old to live at home any more and had long since gone. So that made me the oldest of their three younger children: a twelve-year-old boy, a ten-year-old girl, and an eight-year-old boy. I was fourteen.

So I lived with the G family at this time and I was for all intents and purposes part of the clan. I didn't stay long, as they were raving Fundamentalist Christians and I just couldn't take any more of them burning my t-shirts and books if they didn't agree with the "messages" therein.

Fast forward to today, nearly 12 years later, and that twelve-year-old boy is all growed up. And is a famous photographer in L.A.. And is really hot. Albeit conceited and wild, but really hot.

There was a time when it was thought that we would marry. ... He's rich, fun, HOT, famous, and I am so fucking jealous of him right now! My life is so not rich, fun, hot, or famous!

Call the waaambulance, I know. Well, you'd be jealous if you were me, too. I guess I'll link to a picture of him. Well, maybe I shouldn't just in case someone gets the bright idea to contact him and tell him that I am some seething little jealous woman peeking at his blogs to see what new adventure he's up to.

I totally wouldn't fit into his life or lifestyle at all today. I'm not his type and he's not mine. But it sure is fun to wonder about the what-ifs. Oh who am I kidding? It isn't fun at all! It bloody stinks! :(

Horchata!

Horchata is one of my favorite drinks, and I really like making it too. I figured my last post may leave some wanting for a little Hispanic flare seeing as how today is Cinco de Mayo and all, I thought I'd post my recipe for this light and delicioso drink. Enjoy!

1 C uncooked, white long-grain rice

5 C water 1/2 cup milk

1/2 T vanilla extract

1/2 T ground cinnamon

2/3 C white sugar

Pour the rice and the water into the a blender; blend until rice just begins to break up, about 1 minute. Let the rice and water stand at room temperature for a min of 3 hrs. Strain rice water with a cheesecloth into a pitcher and discard the leftover rice. Stir in the milk, vanilla, cinnamon, and sugar into the rice water. Chill and stir before serving over ice.

Horchata is sooooooooooo good!

मसाला चाय Spiced Tea

In honor of Cinco de Mayo, I am going to post a delicious chai recipe. You may be saying to yourselves, "But Sundance, chai is an Indian (Asian) recipe, not Mexican." To which I would reply to you, "I know. I'm chic like that." :)

Here be the spices ye will need to brew up some lip-smackin', knee-slappin', good ol' chai.

• A gallon + stockpot for the water
  
• 1/4 C green cardamom seed pods, lightly crushed w/ a pultice to break open
• 1/4 C fresh ginger root w/ skin, coarsely chopped
  
• 1/4 C cinnamon bark, broken into chips
• 1 T whole black Tellicherry peppercorns
• 2 T whole cloves
• 1 C honey
  
• 5 T loose black tea leaves (Assam is most common)
  
• 3 star anise

Add one gallon of cold, filtered water to the stockpot. Add all the ingredients except for the honey and black tea. Simmer everything for 45 min., uncovered. The spices will begin to release their aromas; you want to get it to the point where all the bulk ingredients are spent. Add the black tea, simmer for another 15 minutes, then add the honey. Strain entire contents over a cheesecloth into another large pot to cool, compost or discard the reminents from the spices. Serve hot or cold with equal parts chai and milk (any substitute is great here, too), and enjoy!

Jai Papaji, Om SatGuru Ki Jai Om shanti

May all beings enjoy masala chai with aromatic, milky smiles!

Jai Guru Dev!

Eh... (crunch, crunch, crunch) What's Up, Doc?

WARNING! WARNING! HEAVY SARCASM AHEAD! PROCEED WITH SENSE OF HUMOR! WARNING! WARNING!

So what is up with doctors not reading your chart? I mean, com'on! So I'm at the hospital last night because 6 days of influenza with no lift was frankly just dragging my ass down. So luckily for me the ERD wasn't that busy and I got to a bed within about 45 minutes (I've waited upwards of 3 hours before, so 45 minutes was fast!) and the intake lady was really nice, crackin' jokes and being very thorough with her questions as to what has been going on between me and this flu.

So then I get to the bed and she tells me to disrobe 'cause I'm gonna have to have a chest X-Ray (fine) and wait about a half-hour for the doctor to come in (fine, I'm in the ERD and not bleeding to death, it's understandable, even though my head feels like it's going to explode).

Once the doctor arrives, he begins with, "So, you have a bit of a runny nose, do you?"

...

Are you serious? Do you really get patients in here who come in with a bit of a runny nose. Do I look like the kind of person who comes into the emergency department with a bit of a fucking runny nose?!

...

"Among other things" I replied.

"Like what?"

"Oh well, spiking fevers, body aches, blasting headaches, hot flashes, cold chills, eye pain and eye sensitivity, nasty crackling coughs, chest pain, stuffy nose, waterfall nose, ear aches, weakness, fatigue, and generally feeling like I have the FLU."

"And that's just for today?" he asks.

...

Are you serious?? Now I'm getting pissed off!! NO IT'S NOT JUST FOR TODAY, ASS, I'VE BEEN FEELING LIKE THIS FOR 6 DAYS NOW AND I AM SO SICK AND TIRED OF BEING SICK AND TIRED THAT I COULD YANK YOU DOWN TO THE BEDSIDE BY YOUR SHOULDER-LENGTH HAIR AND BREATHE ALL OVER YOUR POINTY LONG FACE SO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS FEELS LIKE, "DOCTOR"!!! FEEL MY WRATH AND BURN IN THE FIREY PITS OF HELL!!! BWAHAHAHAHA!

...

"No, for 6 days, actually."

"Oh, okay. Well, we'll give you something for the body aches, something for the cough, and something for the stuffy nose. We're also going to take a chest X-Ray to make sure everything's OK in there."

That's more like it.

So chest X-Ray comes back, everything looks good. This is good.

Interim between discussing the X-Ray and him writing me the prescriptions, a baby comes in with a 104.4 F temp and is seizing. Nice. Nothing like a little trauma to liven the spirits, I always say!

Finally he comes in and tells me what he's going to prescribe. Ibuprofen, Claritin, and an inhaler.

...

Are you seri... oh never mind.

So I take the prescriptions and come back home, only to wake up today, day 7, still feeling mighty ill. I've taken the dosage of Ibuprofen he prescribed (I am not going to pay for a prescription of what I already have bottles of at home), take a Claritin (ditto), and put up with another 12 hours of coughing until I can get over to the pharmacy to get the inhaler (because I don't have one of those). He couldn't prescribe the Tami-Flu stuff because it's only effective during the first 48 hours of infection. And well, let's just say that I have a husband who was VERY reluctant to take me to the hospital because of his OWN damn complex about appearing "whiny". IT AIN'T MY DAMN COMPLEX, HONEY! I'LL WHINE - I'M THE ONE THAT'S SICK!!!

So there you have it. I had to miss every class last week because I could barely stand up and certainly didn't want to infect anyone, especially my teacher as he already has a weakened immune system. I also had to miss going to the Asian Art Museum in SF with him, too. I really can't miss any more class, but I'll tell you what, if I feel tomorrow like I do today, I ain't going. My temperature this morning was 99.8, still pretty high, considering, and just took it right now and it's 100.0. So we shall see. I would like to go and be able to clean my bloody house, but if I'm ill, I'm ill. And seeing as how I ain't Christian, or religious in any sense of the word, or even "spiritual", ain't no amount of prayer being said in my head, or in my house. I figure nature will take its course. Whether I like it or not.

I'm Not Going Your Route

I'm too sick to post anything meaningful, so you're stuck with videos for the next couple of days until I have my wits about me again.

One of my all-time favorite shows, one of my all-time favorite episodes. Enjoy.