Christmas Linkage!!

OK. So this year I am working hard and saving money for our Big Move. So in lieu of said saving, Christmas this year is going to be more modest than it has been in years past. My husband insists on getting me something, so I told him I'll take on of these and one of these. I will be quite happy with those. Not to mention, my dear, sweet mother-in-law is getting me on of these. I am quite the lucky girl. I know exactly what I am going to get/do for each of our girls, and am still undecided on what to get DH. In fact, he is quite possibly the hardest person to shop for in the history of hardest people to shop for. This is mainly because he doesn't "need anything". Which, in terms of the reality of who he is, it's true. I wanted to get him one of these, but considering the move, I'll wait 'til we're settled into our new abode. Books are always something he'll enjoy, but which book is the real question at hand here. Perhaps a gift certificate? But then he'll just view it as money sitting there that could be used for more practical things. Oy vey, is he hard to shop for! Collections? His are full. Hobbies? None to speak of at the moment.

Sigh. I'll figure it out. In the meantime, I am just workin' my little tail off trying to save up for both Christmas and the move. Not to mention, come January, my hours will be cut down because the Holiday Shopping Rush will have ended. No significant complaints, though. All is indeed well.

Discrimination

You know, I just don't get some people.

Without going into too many details, I will explain something that has been part of my life for the last five years and will continue to be part of my life, so long as I am married to my husband.

From the outside, there is an obvious physical difference between me and my husband. That alone makes people draw their own conclusions about us, mostly negative. From one of us there is an ex who is hell-bent on telling ghastly lies and spreading any kind of rumor they can conjure up to try to make us look bad to our kids' friend's parents. In this, they have succeeded. Nevermind that this ex chronically gets fired from jobs for screaming at co-workers and patients (a "nurse"), loses significant others to infidelity and rage, gets evicted from homes due to unacceptable disturbances, alienates friends for being undependable, and of course, has done one hell of a job of making their kids hate them. Now. We, on the other hand, have literally and truly never had one of these things happen to us, in all our lives - both together and before, and yet we are the ones who are looked at and treated like freaks. It is really, really frustrating.

Now that our kids are getting older and are starting to see this for themselves, they are getting upset because they are seeing that friends are not allowed to come over, etc. All because of lies. We have lived in the same home for over 5 years, have had the same jobs for that amount of time, are happily married and you won't believe this but have never ONCE even yelled at each other, and yet we are somehow the bad guys. I am just appalled at the foolishness and immaturity of these people, who don't even take the time to get to know us for who we are. It literally is just that bad. We go to all the school functions, volunteer in both kid's classes, go to all the sporting and musical events, host sleepovers and playdates (with true friends), and have a normal, kid-centered life.

I can't begin to express how this really gets my hackles up. Of course, we have good and true friends who see us for who we are and know the truth. And for them we are so glad. And really, obviously these other people aren't worth the time in the first place. But it is really frustrating to have people thinking and saying untrue things about us when we're the ones doing all the right stuff.

I can really understand and empathize with all people who have been discriminated against for various things, whether it was/is for interracial marriage, disabilities, economic status or social class. It all hurts. I guess some people never got the memo about thinking for themselves and drawing conclusions based on real life experience. So long, suckers!

Longing

Have any of you experienced a great longing for something you knew you just couldn't and shouldn't have at that time in your life? Well, I, unfortunately, have this quite often - with many a different things. But the one which I am feeling today, and am for some reason brave enough to blog about, is about having children.

See, I am an evil stepmother - DUN DUN DUN. And while I could rail on about what a bloody difficult and thankless job that is, and believe me, it IS, I will only talk about the fact that sometimes, when I am feeling particularly mental, I wish to have my own children. Now, I am in no position to do this, not for a long while for so many, many reasons. But like I said, sometimes I just get bit with a bug that makes me long for my own chillins. I (of course) wonder what they would look like, think about what I would name them, wonder how much different life would be, etc. I also am of the mind that more people is not exactly a good thing for the planet and honestly, life is simply better without children. Damn biology!

It's actually a little frustrating at times because I start to ramble on in my head about, "Will I ever have a 'right time', will I know if it's the right time", yadda yadda yadda. While I wouldn't advocate having children while young, I also believe that everyone has different paths and desires and so the 'right time' for one may not be the same for another in similar circumstances.

It has gotten better over time, though. I used to spend time in the baby sections of stores, read baby product and information websites, read baby BOOKS, blogs, etc. and I think that that even helped me subside some of the more intense sessions. Luckily that has mainly passed. But every once in a while, when I am feeling particularly whimsical and out-of-touch with (my) reality, I get all goo-goo eyed and mushy about having a baby. Sigh. Some just never learn, do they?

It's A Beautiful Day

Hey, y'all. Just wanted to give any one out there reading the good news that has just been made fact to me: I am pregnant! Yay!

We've wanted to have a baby for some time and it's finally the right time for us. So at this point, I am going to finish up this semester, my summer class, and probably even do my first semester at university come fall since I am already accepted and ready to start. At that point, I'll get permission to get a deferment for maybe two semesters and start again once Baby is sitting up, etc.

We are overjoyed and very humbled by the task ahead.

Cheers, all. It's a beautiful day!


Oh, and by the way... APRIL FOOLS!!! :p

Long Time No Post

Yeah, sorry 'bout that. Along with being busy with several different projects and chores clinging to my ankles (preparing the garden for April planting {I hereby promise pictures shortly}, baking some goodies with the kiddos {Elvis' favorite pound cake}, doing a bit of spring cleaning, trying to get a head start on my next papers, trying to have a romantic and social life), I've also just been trying to vegetate. After that 30-page paper of mine my brain was fried.

But the weekend included several trips to the pool (great for letting the kiddies blow off some steam and great for startin' ma tan), lots of fun sleepovers and playdates (am I the only mom who hates that word? When I was a kid we used to just "play" - now it's all about the schedule of things... *sigh*), and generally just enjoying the lovely sunshine and time with family.

Alongside all of this, I've been doing a lot of soul searching, too. Mostly this consists of trying to define and solidify who I am, which in turn consists of finding out what I do and don't like and allowing room for changes. I seem to have a lot of interests that really don't fit well together and I think this is what creates the dissonance inside for me. It's really quite frustrating, actually. Thus the soul searching. I am trying to find out who I am. But I also believe that this is a lifelong persuit, it's not an event and it's not something that only takes place in one's youth. I believe that if a person isn't constantly evolving (with certain values, etc. as pillars that are mainstays) then they aren't being honest with themselves, or at the very least are missing out on life. As Socrates once said, "The unexamined life is not worth living." And I agree.

So here's to all of us. To the search, the path, the changes, and the growth. As long as I (and we) are honest with my- ourselves, we really can't go wrong. At least I believe this to be true.

Note To Self

Read this book:

Eight Cousins by Louisa May Alcott.

For this reason:

"Rose leaned where she was, and fell to thinking how many good times she had had lately, for the gardening had prospered finely, and she was learning to swim and row, and there were drives and walks, and quiet hours of reading and talking......she could work and play all day, sleep sweetly at night, and enjoy life with the zest of a healthy, happy child."

Children Are Our Future

I am really happy. Not only was President Obama's speech tonight marvelous and moving, but we also went to a really great info night at what we hope will be our eldest daughter's Charter School. We love the idea of a smaller school where the staff and students know each other well, the students also have a lot of say in this particular school about what their electives can be as well as their student leadership is all volunteer, no voting for the most popular kids and the rest feeling less-than. They also have a really great volunteer program for the students including volunteering at the local animal shelter, she's gonna LOVE that one! There's an animal rights club, a pool table, a science camps, cool field trips, dances, carnivals, and just some really awesome stuff. They also do pre- and algebra - this is so very important!! I know! They adhere to state standards and use state approved texts, each student has a laptop (and we've just bought her one of her own). We couldn't be happier. Plus, she can still walk to school as it's so close. I think this is going to make all the difference in the world in regards to her self esteem, academic performance (and future academic performance), and even her social life - she'll be around kids who have involved, caring parents like us. There's also required parent volunteer time, this we really like. At the elementary they're both at now, we've gone in once a week (sometimes more) for every year they've each been there (since kindergarten) and many times we just end up doing the grading work the teacher would rather not do when s/he goes home. At this school you can volunteer your real talents (I want to teach a creative writing class and Hubby wants to organize a science project).

This should be great. We're so excited!