Just For Today

For today, for what it's worth, life is good.

Have a great weekend, all.

Three's A Crowd

I have a mean sister. Except, she's mean psychologically and not physically. I don't really know which is worse, but I sure don't like the way she is. She can go piss up a rope, as far as I'm concerned at this point. Although obviously it all still gets under my skin. I just don't know how to make her disappear, even though she's chosen to evade herself from me (can I use evade in that tense?). I really don't like it all, and I am trying to build myself a family outside of those with whom I share blood. Through the courses of our lives, we have become so very different that indeed we are not even friends. It sounds easy to deal with on paper (computer screen?) but it is much harder when you've already lost the bulk of your family to death or famine*. Well, off I am to bed. Not to visit her FaceBook page for a long time now. Ideally, not at all again, but I am an honest lass, so I know I'll be back there before the year's through... *sigh* some people never learn, do they...

*Famine, in this sense, my sense, refers to the dire state of life my family was in due to the choices my parents made in their lifetimes. We were famished in many senses of the word.

If I Were...

*if I were a day of the week, I'd be Sunday!
*if I were a time of day, I'd be 7AM in the morning.
*if I were a direction, I'd be West.
*if I were a tree, I'd be of the Willow or Oak varieties.
*if I were a tool, I'd be a pair of scissors.
*if I were a flower I'd be of the Hyacinth variety.
*if I were a musical instrument I'd be a harp or a sitar.
*if I were a color, I'd be gold.
*if I were a fruit, I'd be a pomegranate.
*if I were an element, I'd be earth.

*if I were a food, I'd be asparagus.
*if I were a place, I'd be San Francisco.
*if I were a material, I'd be wood.
*if I were a scent, I'd be vanilla.
*if I were an object I'd be a Victorian House.
*if I were a song I'd be Free Bird, I guess...

Back to the Grind

Well, I'm afraid it's back to the grind for me today. I slept in and have very little time to get ready. So what better way to spend my limited time than blogging?!

G'day to y'all!

My Metal Addiction

Screams are like sweet lullabies in my ears.

Metal music is as normal and good to me as is the Grateful Dead or Celine Dion. Is that weird to you? I'm sure it is. But metal has been part of my life for many, many years now and I don't know if it will ever part from me.

My love for rock music started when I was a child. The first rock band that I remember choosing to listen to was The Doors. My father gave me a tape and I used to play it in my little WalkMan. I was heavily and permanently influenced by my father's (and mother's, actually) musical tastes, but like most children, my tastes evolved once I flew the nest, and for me that was into metal. A lot of people my age gravitated toward rap or hip-hop or R-n-B, but not me. Metal has just always made sense to me and it doesn't make me feel uncomfortable like I am sure it does to many. The funny part to me is that while I don't need to listen to it every day like my ex-boyfriend, there comes a time every week or so where I literally crave some metal. Sometimes it's Ihsahn, well actually, a lot of the time. And other times it's Metallica or Otep (though that's a story for another day). And I spend a couple of hours listening, enjoying, rocking-the-fuck-out, and then I'm good.

I actually do wonder if this is something that I will do for years to come. If I will be a mom and still listening to metal. Or a grandma! I mean, hey. My grandma still listens to music she listened to when she was my age. Above my computer I've posted a cut-out comic strip from the brilliant Dan Piarro's "Bizarro". It simply says, "SENIOR MOMENT - 2060" and has an old man with all sorts of tattoos and piercings asking, "Now where did I put those car keys?"

Yeah, my generation kicks ass.

My Old Friend

Fade to Black

Best damn solo EVER.

In the Christmas Spirit

I am feeling rather festive today, as I've been preparing Christmas gifts for my family and planning what to give friends and coworkers. I am so excited! I of course love getting a gift or two, but I am having the most joyous time planning gifts for others. Not to mention that we're doing a Secret Santa at work and I know just the thing to get my person (I actually got my boss! Yay!) So tomorrow, my last day off for a while, I will be gathering baking supplies and tins to give as gifts to friends and neighbors, bottles of wine and beer (to my other boss, she likes beer!) for others, and then knocking a few more things off my family's list. To the in-laws we're giving one of those neat electronic picture frames so I also have to get snappin' so they have some cute ones of the girls on there. Not to mention that me and the girls will be making gingerbread men, too. I am just so excited. And secretly, I am really looking forward to my (potential) gift from my husband - my first sewing machine - better than the one I was even hoping for! YAY!!!

I am just so much in a festive and giving mood right now. So here's a little gift for you, dear readers. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. Nothing like the Mormon Tabernacle Choir beliting out Christmas carols and hymns. Nothin' better in the way of Christmas music, way I see it...

Two of my favorites:

My Inner Indian

Today at work we were talking about our alter egos and I just couldn't think on my feet enough at the moment, so of course in true "me" fashion, I just realized what mine is. A beautiful and even sensual Indian woman. I often describe myself as an Indian woman trapped in an American woman's body. I.e., I am not as elegant as many of them are, but I would love to learn. I still have yet to take a belly dancing class, but it is on my short list of to-dos. After the Big Move, I am going to enroll in a yoga class and hopefully even connect up in some way with a belly dance instructor - hopefully they have those sorts of classes there, they're few and far between as it is!

So anyway, next time it comes up at work, I'll be able to tell them what's up!

On Being a Good Blogger

Well, for starters, I am probably not one. I see a good blogger as someone who has lots of lovely pictures and tutorials and personal anecdotes to share with her readers. While this is what I want and aspire to be, right now I am not. Partly this is because I have yet to find my "voice", hence the name "Un Peu De Tout", French for "a little bit of everything" - because that's what I like, a little bit of everything. And while that can be endearing to some, myself included, it also doesn't create much of a readership of people who want to see what you come up with next. Several blogs on my sidebar have distinct voices and you kind of know what to expect from them. Mommyhood, crafting and/or sewing, cooking, religious stuff. I have a very eclectic set of things that I like, much of which does not fit well together. And while that is all well and good, I seem to have a strong resisitance to blogging about just one or two main topics as I am not totally into any one thing. I am a new makeup artist and maybe I'll find inspiration there, which I would love. I really enjoy Makeup Geek and perhaps I'll find my stride like she has. I love sewing and crafting, but for goodness' sake, I don't even have a sewing machine yet so there's no way that little old me can do any tutorials on making a darn thing. Homelife right now isn't something worth blogging about so that's out too. Maybe I have some readers out there despite the lack of a unifying thread tying some things together. I also am really apprehensive about expressing my political views and that's why I've kept my blog private for so long. I am pretty "lefty" at this point in my life and I know that strong opinions on either side of things are alienating. Yet, it is something that I would kind of feel incomplete without in my life, I really enjoy politics and news. Luckily I get to talk to my husband about all that so maybe I should just stick to talking about it with someone who understands my thinking and luckily agrees with most of my views.

Sigh. Well, I figure I'll keep plugging along and see what comes of it all. As I begin this new stage and career maybe something will arise I had not even expected. That would ne cool!

Oh Me of Little Faith

What will be left when I've drawn my last breath
Besides the folks I've met and the folks who've known me
Will I discover a soul-saving love
Or just the dirt above and below me

I'm a doubting Thomas
I took a promise
But I do not feel safe
Oh me of little faith

Sometimes I pray for a slap in the face
Then I beg to be spared cause I'm a coward
If there's a master of death
I bet he's holding his breath
As I show the blind and tell the deaf about his power

I'm a doubting Thomas
I can't keep my promises
Cause I don't know what's safe
Oh me of little faith

Can I be used to help others find truth
When I'm scared I'll find proof that it's a lie
Can I be led down a trail dropping bread crumbs
That prove I'm not ready to die

Please give me time to decipher the signs
Please forgive me for time that I've wasted

I'm a doubting Thomas
I'll take your promise
You've always kept me safe
Oh me of little faith

~ Nickel Creek, Doubting Thomas

Oh Âme

“Oh soul,
you worry too much.
You have seen your own strength.
You have seen your own beauty.
You have seen your golden wings.
Of anything less,
why do you worry?
You are in truth
the soul, of the soul, of the soul.”


~ Rumi

Hidy Ho

Ever since I began journaling, which was, oh, a bout 9 or 10 years ago, I have always wanted to immortalize what I consider to be important days. The first day of each month is that to me. So with today being the first day of June and all, I wanted to at the very least post on this date. There are some things that I could whine and gripe about, there are somethings that I could wax hopeful about, but, well, I am too whiny to bother... hopefully.

Instead I shall link to what I've been reading today. Tomorrow I'll post something more substantial.

CJane's new blog! (awesome!)
Otep talks about gay marriage.
GM files for Bankruptcy (duh?!)
Dick Cheney has a dirty little secret (what's new??)

Why I'm Here

Hi, my name is Sundance Kid and I'm a blogger.

The reason I first started this blog was so that I could have a place of my own to strut my literary stuff, but lately it's more turned into a platform for my views and interests. I'm fine with all of that. Of course, when I have something to say, I write, and when I have something to show, I show it.

When I heard of a blog for the first time, I laughed with great surprise at the concept of a person telling details about their life in a place for all to see. I couldn't understand why someone would want to do that. But then I began to read blogs (some favorites are in my sidebar) and saw that really, people chose what they said and how much they said. I began to see the allure.

I even started a blog quite some time ago (it is this very one and was surprised to see it still available to me because I had deleted it... hmm) but it petered out because I didn't keep up with it at all, really. But now, obviously, I do. I like it this time 'round. It works for me at this moment in time and I am rather enjoying the process and results.

So, there you have it. The alpha and the omega.

Cheers.

Scragga Fragga Ragga!

I am so stressed out with finals and home stuff that I can't really post anything until that's all over - which will be this weekend. I will have two weeks to get my house back in order, settle the girls into the summer schedule, and prepare for my 6-week course in statistics. Joy! I also have a little surprise that I am really excited about, but I'll save that for another upcoming post.

Cheers.

Eh... (crunch, crunch, crunch) What's Up, Doc?

WARNING! WARNING! HEAVY SARCASM AHEAD! PROCEED WITH SENSE OF HUMOR! WARNING! WARNING!

So what is up with doctors not reading your chart? I mean, com'on! So I'm at the hospital last night because 6 days of influenza with no lift was frankly just dragging my ass down. So luckily for me the ERD wasn't that busy and I got to a bed within about 45 minutes (I've waited upwards of 3 hours before, so 45 minutes was fast!) and the intake lady was really nice, crackin' jokes and being very thorough with her questions as to what has been going on between me and this flu.

So then I get to the bed and she tells me to disrobe 'cause I'm gonna have to have a chest X-Ray (fine) and wait about a half-hour for the doctor to come in (fine, I'm in the ERD and not bleeding to death, it's understandable, even though my head feels like it's going to explode).

Once the doctor arrives, he begins with, "So, you have a bit of a runny nose, do you?"

...

Are you serious? Do you really get patients in here who come in with a bit of a runny nose. Do I look like the kind of person who comes into the emergency department with a bit of a fucking runny nose?!

...

"Among other things" I replied.

"Like what?"

"Oh well, spiking fevers, body aches, blasting headaches, hot flashes, cold chills, eye pain and eye sensitivity, nasty crackling coughs, chest pain, stuffy nose, waterfall nose, ear aches, weakness, fatigue, and generally feeling like I have the FLU."

"And that's just for today?" he asks.

...

Are you serious?? Now I'm getting pissed off!! NO IT'S NOT JUST FOR TODAY, ASS, I'VE BEEN FEELING LIKE THIS FOR 6 DAYS NOW AND I AM SO SICK AND TIRED OF BEING SICK AND TIRED THAT I COULD YANK YOU DOWN TO THE BEDSIDE BY YOUR SHOULDER-LENGTH HAIR AND BREATHE ALL OVER YOUR POINTY LONG FACE SO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS FEELS LIKE, "DOCTOR"!!! FEEL MY WRATH AND BURN IN THE FIREY PITS OF HELL!!! BWAHAHAHAHA!

...

"No, for 6 days, actually."

"Oh, okay. Well, we'll give you something for the body aches, something for the cough, and something for the stuffy nose. We're also going to take a chest X-Ray to make sure everything's OK in there."

That's more like it.

So chest X-Ray comes back, everything looks good. This is good.

Interim between discussing the X-Ray and him writing me the prescriptions, a baby comes in with a 104.4 F temp and is seizing. Nice. Nothing like a little trauma to liven the spirits, I always say!

Finally he comes in and tells me what he's going to prescribe. Ibuprofen, Claritin, and an inhaler.

...

Are you seri... oh never mind.

So I take the prescriptions and come back home, only to wake up today, day 7, still feeling mighty ill. I've taken the dosage of Ibuprofen he prescribed (I am not going to pay for a prescription of what I already have bottles of at home), take a Claritin (ditto), and put up with another 12 hours of coughing until I can get over to the pharmacy to get the inhaler (because I don't have one of those). He couldn't prescribe the Tami-Flu stuff because it's only effective during the first 48 hours of infection. And well, let's just say that I have a husband who was VERY reluctant to take me to the hospital because of his OWN damn complex about appearing "whiny". IT AIN'T MY DAMN COMPLEX, HONEY! I'LL WHINE - I'M THE ONE THAT'S SICK!!!

So there you have it. I had to miss every class last week because I could barely stand up and certainly didn't want to infect anyone, especially my teacher as he already has a weakened immune system. I also had to miss going to the Asian Art Museum in SF with him, too. I really can't miss any more class, but I'll tell you what, if I feel tomorrow like I do today, I ain't going. My temperature this morning was 99.8, still pretty high, considering, and just took it right now and it's 100.0. So we shall see. I would like to go and be able to clean my bloody house, but if I'm ill, I'm ill. And seeing as how I ain't Christian, or religious in any sense of the word, or even "spiritual", ain't no amount of prayer being said in my head, or in my house. I figure nature will take its course. Whether I like it or not.

7 Things You Didn't Know You Wanted to Know About Me!

1.) I have to warm the outside of each bottle I use in the shower under hot water before I can use what's inside.

2.) I am perfectly happy being a "pointy-headed intellectual" and have no desire to dumb down.

3.) I secretly want to be a Mormon. (However, that may conflict with #2... hmm)

4.) I hate when my phone rings. And yes, I screen my calls.

5.) I do not like horror or sci fi movies or books.

6.) I have saved every single letter my husband has ever written to me.

7.) I could eat Italian food every single day for the rest of my life and be perfectly contented.

Longing

Have any of you experienced a great longing for something you knew you just couldn't and shouldn't have at that time in your life? Well, I, unfortunately, have this quite often - with many a different things. But the one which I am feeling today, and am for some reason brave enough to blog about, is about having children.

See, I am an evil stepmother - DUN DUN DUN. And while I could rail on about what a bloody difficult and thankless job that is, and believe me, it IS, I will only talk about the fact that sometimes, when I am feeling particularly mental, I wish to have my own children. Now, I am in no position to do this, not for a long while for so many, many reasons. But like I said, sometimes I just get bit with a bug that makes me long for my own chillins. I (of course) wonder what they would look like, think about what I would name them, wonder how much different life would be, etc. I also am of the mind that more people is not exactly a good thing for the planet and honestly, life is simply better without children. Damn biology!

It's actually a little frustrating at times because I start to ramble on in my head about, "Will I ever have a 'right time', will I know if it's the right time", yadda yadda yadda. While I wouldn't advocate having children while young, I also believe that everyone has different paths and desires and so the 'right time' for one may not be the same for another in similar circumstances.

It has gotten better over time, though. I used to spend time in the baby sections of stores, read baby product and information websites, read baby BOOKS, blogs, etc. and I think that that even helped me subside some of the more intense sessions. Luckily that has mainly passed. But every once in a while, when I am feeling particularly whimsical and out-of-touch with (my) reality, I get all goo-goo eyed and mushy about having a baby. Sigh. Some just never learn, do they?

Snippet

I thought I'd give a more detailed account of ME since blogs are really just a bunch of snippets. Which is fine, and one very well can get a clear sense of who a person is (or who they wish to portray themselves as) through blogs, but, well, I guess I don't have a grandiose excuse. I just felt like posting this. Take it or leave it. There are lots of other blogs out there if this one isn't for you. My only rule with myself for blogging (and in life in general) is to be honest with myself. And so I am. :D

This is a snippet of me, what I like, etc.


Human rights and true democracy, Democrat of the Socialist sort, animal rights and animal LIBERATION, speaking and learning French, sociology (my passion, the very essence of my being), Hobbits, indulgence not compulsion, my homemade rice milk (yummm), Bikram yoga (aka Fire Yoga), Antique and Rockabilly fashions, Raqs Sharqi (aka Belly Dance), salty-ass pirates (not to be confused with salty ass-pirates), writing, crusty European breads, a hot bath, the rain, individualism, Black Moors, trees, quiet, linguistics, plants, creativity, good and true friends, philology, loyal and loving family, a piping hot cup o' British tea, psychology, highbrow humor, not turning the other cheek, everything East Indian, history, a rich cup of coffee once in awhile (only our local Tailormade Goat Rock blend ~ brewed in a French Press, of course), FREEDOM, classical languages, separation of Church and State, not subscribing to social norms out of fear or in desire of being "accepted", etymology, local microbrews and microbreweries, grammar, European-style pubs and taverns, garlic fries with an amber ale, a cap of Port now and then, cooking and enjoying good grub, reading (always on the hunt for a good book), blogging, fresh fruit and veggies, the month of August ;), autumn (my favorite season!), our neighborhood block parties and BBQs, NATURE, brewing my own beer, and anything or anyone that piques my interest.
Oh yeah. And if my ideals frighten or threaten you, then your ideals probably would do the same to me.

It's A Beautiful Day

Hey, y'all. Just wanted to give any one out there reading the good news that has just been made fact to me: I am pregnant! Yay!

We've wanted to have a baby for some time and it's finally the right time for us. So at this point, I am going to finish up this semester, my summer class, and probably even do my first semester at university come fall since I am already accepted and ready to start. At that point, I'll get permission to get a deferment for maybe two semesters and start again once Baby is sitting up, etc.

We are overjoyed and very humbled by the task ahead.

Cheers, all. It's a beautiful day!


Oh, and by the way... APRIL FOOLS!!! :p